Bunch of colors

I don't think I'm stable, maybe I'm. I don't know, but thinking about dying is a brand new thing for me, I don't usually think this way. Is it because I'm weak? cause I'm not, maybe I'm, I don't know. Leaving is the only thing I'm thinking about lately, I want to end it, can I? I've been always brave, but never that brave or maybe I'm, I don't know. I love you people, why did you stop loving me? am I hard to love? did I hurt you? Did I make your life more miserable? didn't I help you with anything? cause I used to be a person who doesn't hurt people and insists on making people's lives easier and comfier, did I stop being this person? or I never was one? I don't know. life is way harder than I thought, finding people who are always here to support and can bear all the things for you is never easy-peasy, but I loved you all easily, I supported you all and never had second thoughts about doing so. I've always been he

I know nothing other than loving you. I seriously think that you're gradually leaving my side, you're actually abandoning me. I don't quite understand the reason or maybe I understand, I don't know. I want to insist that I did clarify and explain to you the person you'll meet and how much you may suffer if you fell in love with me. I don't want to share my future life with the very passive version of you but I badly want you. People say we don't fall in love for a specific reason, but we can fall apart instead. I kept asking you for loving me for the person I am and you did, you did it very well :') I also asked you to stay by my side, to make me feel safe, and to never let me feel the loneliness, but you didn't nor in a single way or for a single time. Two persons are fighting inside of me, I do not know which one of them will win this fight, I want you badly and I'm terrified to share my life with you. Are you okay? did I hurt you that bad? I d

I hate to admit it but I guess that I don't really fit in relationships despite the fact that I flourish during the phase, but I still don't know how to control my feelings and I guess I'll never will. I don't quite know how to keep everything in shape, either work, body shape, social life and most importantly the only thing I always find myself good at which is sadly, studying. Problem is never related to the person I'm in love with, but the person I'm and how emotional I get as well as the sense of responsibility I strongly encounter. It's pretty good to be a giver, you just need to understand that being the very best version of yourself whether in school, work or whatever is considered a personal gain to you never lessen the effort you exert for your partner nor make you a bad person. You can make him your first priority and still do good for yourself, certainly this will make him happy too ;)

 Back to writing about people, but this time I can proudly announce that I did not only meet someone cute, but a safe place where I can hide, heal and mend my soul. I guess I can say that I have finally met my soulmate, someone who can have a soft heart for me & yet be the most handsome, considerate, understanding, caring and most importantly a backbone that I can lean on, forever and always Dear lavlovy, 7ob 7yaty & the bringer of Fegla to my life :'D I'm in love with your smile, your voice, your eyes, I love it when we get closer while taking a photo, I love listening to you during classes, watching how you deal with students in a very gentle, caring and passionate way. I love how you calmly handle my bad temper and my mood swings. Also, how you're so patient and how you're always keen on keeping our bond forever. I thought I was in love before, now I'm sure it was not :') I love you in a way I did not before. You're so precious, different and alwa