I hate how much you hate me. I never deserved that. I've never hated you how could I? How could you hate someone you've loved so much?
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ظروفك لا تسمح بشرحها.. عمرك ما قدرت ولا هتقدر فى يوم تشرحها كلنا بنوصل لعُمق معيَّن جوانا بعديه بتقلب ضلمة.. مش مسموح لحد يولع نور غيرنا فى منا بيسكت و يعانى فى صمت و فى بيطلعه فى شوية زعيق و خناق و نرفزة ملهاش لازمة ظروفك بتضغط عليك،احياناً بتخسرك اغلى ما فى الوجود مع إن مبررك قوى و هيصبرهم كتير.. بس مبيتحكيش محدش بيحب يبان وحش ولا ضعيف بس ساعات بيبقى لازم تستسلم و تقول بأعلى صوت.. انا مش قادر،انا تعبان. بس انت بتختار تسكت و تبرر تبريرات غير مقنعة غير لحد عايزك.. عايز يحافظ عليك فمستنى السبب المش مقنع عشان يقتنع. انا بكتب الكلام دا عشان مليت،مليت لك.. مليت م الاعتذار باسباب غير مقنعة،بكتبه عشان انت متستحقش منى غير الحقيقة.. والحقيقة صعب تتقال،انا بعفيك م المواقف اللى عمرك مابتتحط فيها غير بسببى. مش قادره اجى عليك اكتر من كده.. فهعفيك بينى و بين نفسى على الاقل.
I know nothing other than loving you. I seriously think that you're gradually leaving my side, you're actually abandoning me. I don't quite understand the reason or maybe I understand, I don't know. I want to insist that I did clarify and explain to you the person you'll meet and how much you may suffer if you fell in love with me. I don't want to share my future life with the very passive version of you but I badly want you. People say we don't fall in love for a specific reason, but we can fall apart instead. I kept asking you for loving me for the person I am and you did, you did it very well :') I also asked you to stay by my side, to make me feel safe, and to never let me feel the loneliness, but you didn't nor in a single way or for a single time. Two persons are fighting inside of me, I do not know which one of them will win this fight, I want you badly and I'm terrified to share my life with you. Are you okay? did I hurt you that bad? I d...
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